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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Elderly Woman in love with Rosebush

An elderly Cranbourne woman has been indicted on charges of soliciting her neighbour's prize-winning rose bush. Mavis Krankjugs was caught several times on hidden camera engaging in leud behaviour with the plant, police have indicated. The owner of the shrub, estranged beau Alvin Zaspah, believed Krankjugs saught the love of his notable roses after he had rejected her advances. "I believe she also gained pleasure from the thorns" Zaspah lamented. Krankjugs, 87, released a statement saying that she and the rosebush had a 'profound understanding' and had enjoyed 'on and off encounters' over several decades. Her relationship with the plant came to a halt only after Zaspah set up a video camera attempting to uncover why his lily-white roses were turning red overnight. Zaspah's gardener also noticed changes in the plant: "i'd trim that bush every two weeks" he stated, "so I could tell when it wasn't itself". After examination by doctors, police forensics confimed lascerations and cuts on Krankjugs' unmentionables were caused by the plant in question. Krankjugs has been bailed to appear in court next week and ordered to keep 50 metres from the plant, and its cuttings, for at least a couple of days.

3 Comments:

At 3:57 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Much better than the below article!

 
At 4:20 pm, Blogger S. Elliott said...

yeah its almost as filthy and the one about moochie and the mex. theres a good name for a tv show

 
At 12:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can hear the theme song now. Moooochhhyyyy and the MEEEEXXXX! do do do do!!! lol

 

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